Those Light Bulb Moments

You know those moments when something just clicks?  Something that has been a problem for awhile just comes to you and you finally get it? You have a light bulb moment in your head!

This happened to me a few weeks ago and I have to say, I am so thankful it finally clicked.  Over the last two and a half years I was in counselling to help with sever depression and anxiety.  I went on average about every week for an hour.  I had a lot of stuff that I needed to talk through and I am grateful for all the work my counselor put in with me.

During that two and half year stretch, I analyzed every part of my life.  I talked and talked and talked.  Explaining why I felt a certain way in different situations, why my marriage had fallen apart, getting to the root of my anxiety, why I think people felt a certain way towards me and other issues.  These sessions were much needed and I am 100% in a better place because of it.

What was the problem then?

I didn’t notice it when I finally stopped going to counselling, but in the last year I have continued to over analyze everything and over communicate everything.  It is almost like it became a habit.  I was so used to sharing everything and breaking down every situation piece by piece.

Late nights in bed dwelling on things that happened at work, buying a new condo, studying, applying for a new job, relationships.  All of it.  All the time. Think think think.

It wasn’t until about a month ago that I had a catch up conversation with my counselor.  I was calling to thank her for helping me with my anxiety issues and then we got to talking about some other topics.  I asked about this over analyzing and over communicating concern and our discussion really cleared my head.  She basically reinforced that I no longer need to worry about doing that.  That was for counselling session, not every day life.

Of course there are times when you need to think something through or have a good deep conversation about whatever with somebody but constantly doing it is actually detrimental.

A friend of mind even pointed it out to me.  I needed to hear the strong words she shared with me.  I was dragging on issues that were not even that big a deal but I was in such a habit of analyzing everything, I created problems were none really existed.  And in doing so, I kept bring them up over and over.  Needless to say, this totally exhausted her patience with me.



When it all kind of hit me, it became so very clear.  Sometimes I just need to let things go and carry on.  I don’t need to break down every situation like I am in a session.  I don’t need to keep trying to explain myself to people…chances are they understood what I meant the first time.

Since that day, I feel so much better.  If something has happened (like not getting a job I hoped I would get), I debriefed that night to see where I might do better next time, and left it.

Breaking a habit will take some time but it is so much better recognizing a weakness and being able to fix it.  I have been able to catch myself and shift my thoughts to something else.

I am accountable for my actions and I may have ruined a good friendship(s) because of them.  In the end though, I can only continue to work on myself and get better each day.

Anxiety and depression are no longer a major issue for me.  The counselling and other areas of work paid off.  It is a great feeling when life becomes just that much more clear.